Tanked by Less Than Zero

153 Commercial Rd 

South Yarra, VIC 3141
http://www.lessthanzerobar.com/

I’m a little heartbroken. About a year and a half ago, I was invited to NBHD Neanderthal for what was one of the better brunches, and the best steak sandwich I’ve had for a long time. When I checked back about a year later however, I found that the place had sadly closed. So it felt a bit odd to say the least when I rocked up to Tanked, only to find that it is sitting where NBHD Neanderthal used to be.

Still, as far as things go, Tanked is definitely a worthy successor to the comfortable, masculine space NBHD Neanderthal inhabited (see venue photos here; alternatively, go look at my NBHD Neanderthal post – it hasn’t changed all that much). A brainchild of the noggins behind Hammer and Tong – one of the best brunch places of all time if you ask me – Tanked is located in a bar (go figure) called Less Than Zero, serving up the quirky, internationally influenced food Hammer and Tong has become famous for. 

Organic Padron Peppers ($11)

I had shamelessly located my buttocks right next to the kitchen so that I wouldn’t miss a single bit of food, and the first platter to come a-roving was the Organic Padron Peppers ($11). I grabbed two serves of these, and they were very moreish – smoky and dusted with coarse salt – especially with the accompanying dip of Yarra Valley goats curd. 

Surf n Turf Fritters ($10, 4pcs) 

Though the Surf n Turf Fritters ($10, 4pcs) looked off-puttingly burnt, they were anything but, and absolutely delectable. Hidden behind the crisp exterior was a moist center of prawn, beef brisket, and sweet kernels of corn. It was made even more flavoursome by the addition of summery romesco sauce, and creamy Japanese mayo. It was a lovely dish of contrasts and complements. 

Avocado Briont Toast ($10)

Equally as lovely was the Avocado Briont Toast ($10). The thick, buttery slice of bread was topped with a spreadable mix of avocado and cream cheese, but it was taken beyond the ordinary with a spicy dukkah and sprigs of baby coriander. The caramelised edges of the toast were especially delicious. 

Kimchi Okonomiyaki ($9)

One of the dishes I had most looked forward to trying was the Kimchi Okonomiyaki ($9). And the fat slabs of Japanese pancake were very traditional, complete with all the trimmings of bonito flakes, spring onions, and lashings of Japanese BBQ sauce. Although the taste of kimchi wasn’t overly prominent, the refreshing tanginess and crunch it added was very welcome.  

Wardy’s Crispy Chicken Ribs ($15, 6pcs) 

I had been keeping all three eyes out for Wardy’s Crispy Chicken Ribs ($15, 6pcs) all night, so I was extra glad to spy them floating out of the kitchen. Crisp and juicy, these were given an Asian twist by the fish fang sauce, which tasted like a spicy oyster sauce, and the sprinkling of sesame and spring onion. 

BBQ Brisket Slider ($6ea)

Whilst I’ve always loved the idea of sliders, sometimes they fall awfully short of what they could’ve been. Whilst I was leery about the amount of coleslaw in the BBQ Brisket Slider ($6ea), my fears turned out to be completely unfounded. Though thin, the pink slices of beef were mouth-wateringly bold, its richness complemented by the thick slice of pickle and crunchy slaw. 

Smoked Chicken Slider ($6ea)

Equally good was the Smoked Chicken Slider ($6ea), the tender meat still wafting with smoke from the BBQ, and the Smoked Lamb Shoulder Slider ($6ea), which looked a lot like its chicken counterpart but was fuller and fattier in flavour.

Unfortunately I didn’t manage to stay long enough to try any of the other dishes on the menu (though really, I had tried at least two-thirds already), I’ve seen and tasted enough to know that Tanked will be every inch as popular as its bigger brother, Hammer and Tong. Tanked has taken simple bar food and jazzed it up so that it’s worldly and exciting. Though the bar scene really isn’t for me, I’m eager to come back during quieter hours to sample the rest of the food on offer.

Rating: 14/20 – bar food 2.0

This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit.

Sweet and Sour Fork dined as a guest of Tanked by Less Than Zero.

Etto

261 Clarendon St 
South Melbourne, VIC

http://etto.com.au/

Life is good. Now that I’ve settled into full time, getting up at 6am doesn’t seem so hard anymore, and I’m really enjoying both my work, and all the after-work dates Chris and I get to have. And with a new workplace comes new colleagues, and with that, new restaurant recommendations – perfect. 

Funnily enough, both Chris and I heard from our respective co-workers that Etto was the place to go for take-away pasta. That was exciting. When we arrived, it certainly looked like nonna has been busy. Whilst vats of sauce simmered away in the kitchen, the cabinets were filled with whorls and twists of hand-made pasta, ready to be dropped into a boiling pot. 

Freshly Baked Garlic Bread ($6)

It was a beautiful day, so we chose to eat al fresco, watching the people and their dogs go by on Clarendon St. I couldn’t deny Chris his deep-seated love for Freshly Baked Garlic Bread ($6), and frankly I couldn’t resist either. The loaf of sliced up ciabatta had a crunchy crust, and the centre, generously smothered in garlic butter, simply melted in the mouth. 

Gnocchi with Bolognaise ($13.5)

I dictated that Chris was to have the Gnocchi with Bolognaise ($13.5), and he accepted the ruling gleefully. The sauce was rich and mellow, conveying the experience of a lush summer and bountiful autumn with each mouthful. The gnocchi was of course flawless – soft and pillowy, perfect for soaking up the light, meaty sauce. 

Amatriciana Tagliatelle ($13)

Amatriciana Tagliatelle ($13)

My Amatriciana Tagliatelle ($13) was even more exciting than the description – smoky pancetta in a chilli Napoli sauce – made it sound. Whilst it had the same summery feel as the bolognaise, it was extremely bold and flavoursome, the sauce a delicious mix of spicy and tangy, drowned in chilli olive oil. Need I mention the perfectly al dente pasta? 

Whilst Etto isn’t quite Grossi Cellar Bar, I couldn’t find anything to fault. It tasted just like dinner at home. If I hand-made my pastas. And simmered my own sauces. Sorry to go all hippy but, it tastes like love, man.

Rating: 14/20 – born in the spaghetto.

This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit. 

Oriental Teahouse (Chapel St)

455 Chapel St 

South Yarra, VIC 3141

http://www.orientalteahouse.com.au/

How do you celebrate Chinese New Year? Asian or not, the tradition of Chinese New Year, or to be politically correct, Lunar New Year, is catching on. Even if you don’t celebrate the holiday, there’s always enjoyment to be gotten out of street festivals, lion dances, and Chinese food. Coming from a traditional mainland Chinese family however, Chinese New Year means one thing to me – dumplings (and red pockets full of money, but I’m a little too old for that now). Appropriately enough, this Chinese New Year coincided with an invite from Oriental Teahouse, so with my tummy still full of dumplings from New Years Eve dinner and New Years Day breakfast, I headed to Oriental Teahouse the same night for a dinner of more – you guessed it – dumplings. 

As most people probably know, Oriental Teahouse is a combination of gourmet tea shop and new-age yum cha. It is definitely feels a lot more westernised – you order from a menu instead of picking your dishes off the trolley, and the forks are already on the table. The interior is a lovely, soothing mix of a teahouse and a cafe. 

Peach Melba ($4.5)/Lemon Iced ($4.5)

It was a hot day, but Oriental Teahouse had us covered. Aside from brewed pots of tea, they also had a fully stocked bar, as well as some ‘pot-tails’ – cocktails served cheekily in a teapot. We ended up with just a glass each of Iced Tea; I had the Peach Melba ($4.5), a sweet, velvety treat that tasted like dessert in a glass, and Chris had the Lemon Iced ($4.5), which was refreshingly tangy with a faint aftertaste of smoky black tea. Neither of them tasted much like tea, but both were delicious.

Cheese and Bacon Spring Rolls ($6.8, 3pcs)

Cheese and Bacon Spring Rolls ($6.8, 3pcs)

When I heard Cheese and Bacon Spring Rolls ($6.8, 3pcs), I expected the aftermath of a party in my mouth. But for once, this is a case of precarious fusion gone right. Wrapped in translucent casing that crackled like cellophane were stretchy mozzarella cheese, bacon cubes, and chopped veggies. It may have been a tad bewildering, but I have to say it was entirely enjoyable to feel like I was alternating between pizza and spring rolls with each bite. Seems like the key to fusion is moderation. 

Prawn Hash Browns ($8.8)

Next up were the Prawn Hash Browns ($8.8), which were really only hash browns in name and appearance. Biting into it, what we got were succulent prawns held by a soft batter – perfect for satisfying that prawn dumpling craving without the prawn dumplings. 

Chicken Dumplings with Quinoa Salad ($10.8)

I was already expecting the unexpected when we were told that the next dish was Chicken Dumplings with Quinoa Salad ($10.8), but the Chinese part of my brain broke when we were served an actual chicken dumpling salad. I was incredibly hesitant about this dish, but it turns out I seem to have a new addition to my lunch salads repertoire. The cushions of dumplings were given a refreshing lift by the garden salad, and whilst it was a bit oily, the ginger dressing added an impressive moreishness to the greens. 

Chilli Wagyu Dumplings ($8.8, 4pcs) 

Chilli Wagyu Dumplings ($8.8, 4pcs) 

The Chilli Wagyu Dumplings ($8.8, 4pcs) were our least favourite dish of the night. I’m suspicious of beef in dumplings on the best of days, and these just didn’t hit the spot for me. To their credit, there was a decent kick to the chilli, but I found the entire dish to be a bit lacklustre in the flavour department. 

Confucius Says, ‘Eat Your Veggies’ ($14.8)

Confucius Says, ‘Eat Your Veggies’ ($14.8), and who are we to argue with Confucius? Fresh and vibrant, this simple plate of stir-fried veggies was a great palate cleanser. There was everything from crisp sugar snap peas, glossy black fungus, and tender shoots of baby corn, tossed in a slick, savoury sauce with barley and goji berries.

China Fried Chicken Ribs ($11.8)

Regardless of whether or not Confucius also said to eat our fried chicken, we ended our savoury dishes with indulgent China Fried Chicken Ribs ($11.8). Chicken ribs are the epitome of the meat-on-a-bone experience – maximum meat and minimum bone. And these chicken ribs were thoroughly delicious, from the crunchy, cracked-pepper-coated exterior all the way to the succulent, piping hot interior. 

Chinese Wonka Dumplings ($9.8, 3pcs)/Signature White Chocolate Dumplings ($7.8, 3pcs) 

‘Finally! An Asian dessert that’s actually dessert!’ Long since fed up with the endless loop of red bean, green tea, and black sesame, Chris embraced the Chinese Wonka Dumplings ($9.8, 3pcs) and Signature White Chocolate Dumplings ($7.8, 3pcs) with all his gut. These were simple yet tasty, the glutinous balls filled with chocolate from two ends of the spectrum, served with coconut peanut praline, and a deep fried sesame exterior respectively.

I have to admit, half the stuff on Oriental Teahouse’s menu I wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole if left to my own devices, but I was pleasantly surprised by this meal. If you want stock-standard yum cha, then stay away. But if you’re bored by, or a little too intimidated by all the chicken feet and the ladies pushing the trolleys shouting at you in Cantonese, then give Oriental Teahouse a go – you won’t be disappointed.

Rating: 14/20 – succulent chinese meal.

This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit.

Sweet and Sour Fork dined as a guest of Oriental Teahouse. 

Pacific Seafood BBQ House

210 Toorak Rd 
South Yarra, VIC 3141

I’m back! Though my posting schedule might make it seem otherwise, I’ve taken a week and a half worth of blogging hiatus for Christmas, choosing instead to rely on my backlog of past eats. But now I’m back in business, and with it still being the holiday season, there wasn’t much choice in terms of food. We ended up at Pacific Seafood BBQ House, a Cantonese stalwart that has long tempted us with its delicious smells.

Pacific Seafood BBQ House is exactly what you’d expect from a mid-range restaurant specialising in home-styled cooking. The interior is nice enough, with every inch of space carefully utilised to maximise capacity, in order to fit in as many large, boisterous Asian families as possible. Strips of colourful paper lining the walls proclaim the specials of the day. 

House Soup

Like all good Asian restaurants, we were treated to a bowl of House Soup as we scanned the menu. The broth was delicately porky, sweetened with chunks of wintermelon and carrot. 

Crispy Roast Pork ($10.5, entree)

Crispy Roast Pork ($10.5, entree)

It’d be incredibly remiss to visit a BBQ house and not try any of the BBQ, and I for one prefer Crispy Roast Pork ($10.5, entrée) much more than duck or chicken. After all, how could I say no to juicy meat and incredibly crunchy skin, ribboned with fat?  Whilst the fat to meat ratio may be a little too much for some, as a diehard Asian, I adore the way it melted in the mouth. 

Seafood with Silky Beancurd ($26)

The Seafood with Silky Beancurd ($26) combined all my favourite things on a bed of crunchy broccoli, doused in a slippery egg sauce. Whilst simple, this was a delicious tumble of fresh seafood, from plump scallops to chewy pieces of calamari, and everything else in between. The deep fried globes of wobbly tofu soaked up all the delicate umami flavours of the seafood.  

Special Fried Rice ($7, small)

And instead of boring steamed rice, we opted for the Special Fried Rice ($7, small) instead as our filler. If only all fried rice was like this! Interspersed with BBQ pork, golden shreds of egg, and large bouncy prawns, the rice was fried to a fragrant smokiness, with shreds of lettuce added in for a bit of crunch.

We finished up our meal with a quick dessert of complimentary orange segments (sweet and juicy), and left feeling completely satisfied. That feeling was compounded when we walked past the mob of people waiting outside on the sidewalk for their chance at delicious Cantonese home cooking. Like all good cheap and cheerful Chinese restaurants, the service and decor at Pacific Seafood BBQ House may be minimal, but you’re sure to get a fabulous feed with hardly any damage to the wallet.

Rating: 14.5/20 – moooooooother knows best.

This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit. 

Teppankai

34 Bray St 
South Yarra, VIC

http://www.teppankai.com.au/

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee from sushi to ramen to curry

My chopsticks can reach, even when not hungry.

What am I talking about? Japanese food of course. Along with what seemed like all of the bloggers in Melbourne, I was invited to Teppankai for a special relaunch dinner. The restaurant felt rather zen, which is to be expected of a high-end teppanyaki restaurant, yet still modern and edgy. I was tucked away in an intimate little corner away from the teppanyaki action, with five other lovely blogger humans. 

Horenso Ohistahi

To start our meal, we were served a little appetiser of Horenso Ohistahi, a refreshing little morsel of blanched spinach and shiitake mushrooms in a light soy. What really made this go above and beyond were the toasted sesame seeds sprinkled on top, giving the mouthful of vegetables a moreish nuttiness.

Salmon Carpaccio

Our first entree was a classic Salmon Carpaccio, drizzled in a vinaigrette and garnished with lemon slices and micro shiso leaves. I like the simple yet invigorating combination of citrus and herbs, but I thought the salmon was sliced at an awkward thickness, somewhere between dainty and plump.

Spicy Fish Tempura Roll

Spicy Fish Tempura Roll

Our next course was a curious rendition of the tempura sushi – Spicy Fish Tempura Roll. Instead of the tempura being wrapped inside the roll, the pieces of spicy salmon sushi were lightly fried in tempura batter and drizzled with mayo. But whilst the dish was tasty, the results weren’t as spectacular as I imagine they had hoped for.

Kai Kani Maki

After gushings of praise from Melbourne Girl, I was just as excited as her to try the Kai Kani Maki, a seared crab salad wrapped in seaweed and barramundi, topped with tobiko and sweet soy.

Kai Kani Maki

And the first bite was a textural and taste sensation. Through the soft exterior was a tangle of shredded crab, accompanied by the subtle popping of the fish eggs. It was an elegantly creamy mouthful of seafood.

Braised Japanese Hamburger

The next dish had me intrigued – what exactly does a Braised Japanese Hamburger consist of? Turns out it was a giant beef meatball cooked in teriyaki glaze, topped with a poached egg, and served with lotus root chips on the side.

Braised Japanese Hamburger

It wasn’t that this dish tasted bad; it tasted alright, aside from the hamburger being slightly too salty. But I just couldn’t see the point of a giant teriyaki meatball, served with a cold poached egg and stale lotus root chips.

Kaisen Teppanyaki

The first of the two mains was the Kaisen Teppanyaki – a selection of seafood fresh from the hot plate, served with a selection of dipping sauces, including miso, soy, and ponzu. I quite enjoyed the plump scallops, but I found both the salmon and the mussels to be dry, and the prawns strangely gritty.

Unfortunately I had to leave at this point due to time constraints, so I didn’t get to sample the second main, Kobe Style Eye Fillet, or the dessert, Black Sesame Tiramisu. I’m sure there will be plenty of posts floating around to fill my gap though, so do go off and read one of those.

Regrettably, Teppankai does not have me sold. Though it markets itself as a posh Japanese teppanyaki restaurant, I found that most of the food was mostly bells and whistles. But for the less adventurous, this may be just up your alley.

Rating: 11/20 – teppan-no.

This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit.

Sweet and Sour Fork dined as a guest of Teppankai.