Allow me to introduce you to my new husband. He’s smokin’ hot with sexy tanned buns, and everyone who’s met him loves him. Allow me to introduce you to Huxtaburger.
Not that an introduction is needed. Ever since the opening of the original in Collingwood, Huxtaburger has received nothing but a torrent of praise. My first experience was something akin to Squidward’s first ever Krabby Patty; my mind was blown by how delicious a simple burger could be. So I nearly died when I heard that Huxtaburger has finally moved to the CBD. In fact, I died so much that I made this visit with my sister less than 24 hours after hearing the news, then again less than a week later, trying to take as many friends with me as possible to our collective burgertastic deaths.
Like the original in Collingwood, Huxtaburger has the diner thing going. Unlike the original however, the CBD branch is darker, slicker, and the synth music with the retro fit out made it feel like an old-school sci-fi themed diner. It’s still small, but you can swing a cat now, if it’s not a particularly fat one.
My sister has been dying to try the Huxtaburger ($8.5) for the longest time, and it lived up to her expectations and more. It was everything I remembered and loved about the original – sweet, fluffy bun with caramelised edges from the grill, crisp salad, beef dripping with fat, cheese melted on top, and all slathered in a wickedly creamy and tangy mixture of mustard, mayo, and tomato sauce. Never has something with ingredients so fresh been so bad for you.
I was a little more adventurous, choosing to have the Denise ($9.5) instead. It’s the original Huxtaburger, but perked up with generous additions of jalapenos and sriracha mayo. It wasn’t enough to make the burger particularly spicy, but it did give the burger that extra zip and zang. It’s a messy burger but it was worth every single bit on stickiness between my fingers.
And we had a serve of Small Chips ($2.5) on the side. They’re nothing special, crinkled and freshly fried, but you can’t have a good burger without a side of chips dipped in ketchup, you just can’t.
Huxtaburger CBD follows the exact formula that made the original a raging success – quality ingredients made into a burger that is both the angel and the devil. And thank goodness it hasn't changed; after all, why bother trying to improve on perfection?
Rating: 15/20 – huxtaburger forever!
The rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit.