Massive Wieners

226 Chapel St 

Prahran, VIC 3181
http://massivewieners.com/

Hot dog places seem to have a knack for cheeky names – Phat Brats and Dognation are just a couple, but I have to say that Massive Wieners take the cake. And how do you get to Massive Wieners? You walk past Lucky Coq of course! Oh Prahran, you cheeky suburb. 

We walked in right as three blokes were finishing up the 25 inch wiener challenge, which is a lot less dirty than it sounds. If you manage to finish a 25 inch (63.5cm) dog within 5 minutes, you get your money back, and your Polaroid on the Wall of Fame! Finish in over 5 minutes and you’re relegated to the much, much larger Wall of Shame but hey, it’s better having your face stuck in the Did Not Finish section under the benches. 

Pickle Hot Dog ($10, 12” massive wiener)/Chilli Dog ($8, 6” average joe)

Chris didn’t want to see me try and eat over half a metre of hot dog, so I grumbled a bit and got the Pickle Hot Dog ($10, 12” massive wiener) instead. Now let me say this right off that bat: this is not a gourmet hot dog, so don’t go in expecting one! The smoked frank and squishy white bun is a classic diner staple, the kind of thing that could be packed up into a cart and sold on the side of the street. It was lathered with sauce, including a bright pickle relish, and scattered with diced onions and cheese. Good food? Not really. Delicious? Absolutely. 

Chilli Dog ($8, 6” average joe)

Slightly more gourmet (but still not gourmet!) was the Chilli Dog ($8, 6” average joe), which had all the basics, plus the addition of a mild beef and bean chilli that I was very impressed by. Instead of tasting like bolognaise with taco seasoning as I had expected, it actually had a deep, robust southern smokiness, and a hint of cocoa to it.

Admittedly, before actually seeing some of the dogs, I had expected Massive Wieners to be another one of those gourmet hot dog restaurants. What we found instead was a small old-timey diner in the middle of Prahran, serving up enormous cheapo carnival dogs at cheapo prices. I hear it’s also very popular with the late-night crowd; I’m almost tempted to get into drinking, just to see how fab one of these would taste after a night out.

Rating: 12/20 – chris suggested a sister store selling meatballs. saggy balls, he thinks it should be called.

This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit.